The Butler

Since my girlfriend and I are ghetto capitalists, we've decided to use the extra money from Cameron's prostitution and use it toward funding a butler. We contacting a Butler Agency and got one of their cheapest, finest men around, His name is Noah Maxwell. Noah is a very skinny fellow, he has long hair and he likes long walks on the beach. He curses a lot when he screws up as well. Today, while he was tending to our garden, he told me that I should "Fucking buy some more fucking flowers" so I went out to my favorite place, Home Depot. That's where all the cool kids hang out. I went into Home Depot and saw my favorite employee of them all, His name is Sharron. He showed me the most lovely bushes of roses anybody could ever have. I bought them all, I spent over 500$ on roses, When I took them back after I rented a truck for 50$, Noah was on the ground, he said someone in a suit came over and pushed him over. This befuddled me, was he trying to get himself fired because he doesn't appreciate our ghetto capitalist ways? Or did he just want to get into my wife's pants? Either way, it was very mysterious on the way that he acted. I talked to Noah the following day and offered him my wife as an alternate payment for his services, he delightfully agreed. When Cameron and Noah went upstairs, I decided to take a peak inside to see what they were doing, Noah was crying on the mattress telling Cameron that he was afraid and had never conducted such acts before. He was a Virgin. I'll skip the sexual experiences we all experienced together. I told Noah he did a great job churning my insides up, and I zipped my pants, as soon we left the room, we looked outside of the window, and there, a tall man in a business suit was standing outside of my house. I'm starting to become scared for my life.

My Dark Journal

So tonight I've decided to look into Cameron's dream journal, (My Dark Journal) and I had a few laughs about it, because one sentence stated, "I saw a tall guy starting in our window, and I made an egg sandwich for him, Talk about getting my beauty sleep." It also kind of freaked me out, because after i read that, I swear I saw a guy peering into our window, I guess I should grab my camera and take some pictures whenever I get the chance.