The boy who cried Manwitch.

I write this entry as I cook sharks in my basement. I hit the jackpot today everybody. As I walked my dog rusty around the pier eating my morning manwitch, I saw a bunch of dead sharks on the beach. I was curious on how so many sharks can be dead under a pier at once, I decided to hire mexicans and my girlfriend Cameron by giving them dolla fries with my EBT card of power. We ate, and we also got My Little Pony toys, I got the purple one with the flower on it, it was delicious, especially the wrapping, Sharron gave us more toys for free, because he works at McDonalds, he's a head manager over there. As we rolled down out windows with the sharks in the back of our truck, it suddenly got very misty outside, and we found ourselves in the ghettofied asshole camp. It's like a bunch of black guys who rape you without condom or lube, except they swipe triple the amount of EBT as I do. All of a suddens they decided to get a bat and one ran out and sacrificed himself to stop my car and his body clogged up my engine and my grill, causing my car to stop. I honked my horn a bunch of times, to grab peoples attention, but to no avail. So i went into my cd case and got out my favorite tunes to blast, god old coon man Johnny Rebel, with his hit single, "Nigger Nigger." The black people were so impressed with the influentiul lurics that they decided to buy the song on Itunes with their EBT card and they also bought us drinks with cash. I told them cheers and to put a good ol prime rib in the bbq and they did. While they were distracted with the consumation of other materials, we pryed the dead guy in our grill and ran off, one of our mexicans, Asho didn't make it. He was eaten by the ghettofied assholes of Amurica. We did make it though, UNTIL WE SAW SOMETHING ELSE IN THE MIST. It was the guy in the suit, and now I come to think of it, sharron tried to kill me while we were in the car chanting some words of some sort because she was possesd by this tall suit man guy. I knew who was behind his pupet sharade though, it was KONY ISLAND 2010. All of a sudden, next to the tall suit man, invisible children were parading the grounds of ghettofied asshole land. I knew their only weakness though. The mexicans in my truck had gallons of paint handy from their lawn mowing job before, and we dumped it on the invisible children and they were visible, then we were able to run them over effectivly, in steed of blindly thoughout the mist, the tall suit man was mad at us, but we didn't care. But right now, the mexicans and sharron and cameron are eating sharks right now with our hard ernd stuff. I'll try to update later, but i'll see what I may be able to do. I applied for the most dreadful thing ever, UNEMPLOYMENT.

The Try hard, no good, buttplug up the ass phony.

There's this new blog called crack elephants eating my chicken. It's basically all of my posts reposted in this...try hard language I can't really decipher. If you're reading this, I hope you know that Robert Chompsky is going after you right now. Right now I bought an IP address finder so I can backtrace his chicken so I can eat his laundry, thereby destroying him entirely. I hope all of my loyal followers help me get the ghetto capitalist revolution on this guys Vietnamese penis. I've about had it with all the people saying "OH EM GEE HE MUST BE THE REAL DEAL ROBERT, HE THINK'S YOUR STORY IS A JOKE!" Yeah well you can go fuck yourself unloyal subjects. Keff Joval is the biggest tryhard of them all. I'm going to find you gnome. This is what i'm going to do.


1. I'm going to buy 2 horses, and they will be exactly the same.
2. I will then take the horses to your daughers house, and hide one in the bush.
3. Afterwords I will bring the main horse into your house, and she will be thrilled there will be a horse in her house.
4. When you come out in shock and awe, I will stab you to death with Sharron, he owns a gun shop next to Chuck E. Cheese. He actually gets a shitload of buisness when it's near the spring hunting season. Now that I think of it, Sharron might be fucking my wife right now, but i'm so mad that I don't even care atm.
I think this gnome guy is just a text chat warrior, and he's a major threat because he may be behind this Kony Island thing going on now, with the invisible people and such. It's a conspiracy. I'll see to it that gnome get's his JUST DESSERTS. AND HE WILL SUFFER. I PROMISE THAT TO YOU ALL MY FANS. I LOVE YOU ALL. GOOD NIGHT.

The Thing In the Mist.

               Sorry I haven't been able to be able to be able to make a post recently. I have been forming a bond with my friend Sharron. He works almost about everywhere. Anyways. I was getting off topic (Lol \o/) So since I'm a ghetto capitalist and I swipe my EBT card for just about anything. I decided to buy a brand new computer in my brand new house. I've been watching this really good show called Mr.Who about a time traveling super hero who steals peoples panties in the past and sniffs them in the distant future, he also has a pet monkey named Jesse. Yes. It's a pretty shitty name for a monkey. ANYWAYS. I decided that I wanted to go more into investigating into this tall man guy. My wife has been chanting his name and he really scares me. I went to the graveyard behind me house to see if I can locate the tall guy. To make it more convenient for him to find me, I went at approx 4 a.m. Just before my routine brand muffin with ghetto capitalist chocolate milk. When I went to the graveyard he saw me masturbating furiously. I went over to Redlight and asked him for a Fleshlight. He gave me one and I used it to get myself off. Then the tall guy with no face went up to me and told me that i needed to go to sleep. 
               I woke up the next day on my lawn with nothing buy boxers and chips and dip. I finished the dip and realised I was burnt by the sun, I went inside to get aloe to find Sharron and Cameron making out without me. I was sad. Tomorrow Cameron and I are going to the book store to buy more Mr.Who and his time traveling adventures. I feel as if there is a warm sensation going down my pants as I type this.