Garlic Butter, and Wednesdays turmoil.

My floor is growling at me as we speak, I'm typing this while gnome is keeping the lions at bay. Let me start off from the beginning. When I last left my house after I heard the phone ringing during my daily chess game versus gnome. Gnome is a very admirable opponent when it comes to chess, he usually communicates with his pieces and wins automatically because his bishop feels like cheating. No pun intended. I dashed into the room where the phone was and I answered the phone. It was Chris Christie again! "YES MISTER CHRISTIE? HOW CAN WE HELP?" INCASE YOU FORGOT WHO HE WAS. (http://www.bigappledaily.tv/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/chris-christie.jpg) "I need you to fight against Blimpus and his new army!" Mister Christie said while he was getting a blowjob from Jaba the Hutt. All of a sudden, my computer started to shake, I was receiving messages on my e-mail and it was all notifications from these infernal poser blogs. People are making these new blogs and it was blocking my news feed, so I got gnome to stick his dick into the computer and he was able to fuck the motherboard until she spewd sperm into the computer, corrupting these blogs and putting them back into their place in the netherworlds. I then looked at Gnome with a look of approval. He and I knew what he was thinking. CELEBRATORY FRUIT PUNCH AT WAWA. Wawa now accepted EBT, so we decided to buy some hoagies while we're at it. While we were walking home, we saw him. Riding a bike with his slicked back hair and his toothpick in his mouth. Blimpus. We knew what we were up against, and he whistled his rape whistle that he had handy on him. A bunch of kids with glasses came out of the bushes in camo. I was in awe at how many people he was able to summon, and the worst part about it, they weren't invisible, so our paintbrushes were proven to be ineffective to them. "Welcome, pitiful land walkers, feel the might of my new army! THE ARMY OF BLOGGERS TO THE LIVES THAT YOU'VE RUINED." "OH FUCK FUCK FUCKAFUCK" Yelled gnome, He started to bolt, but one of the bloggers got a hold of him and demanded that he reject back his semen and make his blog better again before his immersion broke. "GNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"I yelled as soon as I saw him fall to the ground with his trousers down. I quickly took out a pheonix down and I revived him, he only had 10% of his Hp and Mana back. We ran away with gnome on my back and I set off the bomb that I cleverly put down BECAUSE GNOMES TIME TRAVELING POWERS WORKED. The bloggers died in a smoldering flame, BUT the zoo was caught not sleeping in the explosion. We has gorillas and lions and bears chasing us down the street, we baited them into my basement with seafood and that's where I am now, Right now gnome is calling the toof fairy and we're about to get uppity in this bitch, I'll update you all later! Smiley face ex dee.