Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Horseshoe, The Toad, and the Pen Cap. Featuring Chicken Alfredo.

Today is a memorable say in MY society that we call, Tuesday. Tuesday Is a day when we all give up on the things we want the most but still do it anyway. I heard that Tuesdays are a great day to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. It all started when Gnome picked up the distress call phone device and saw that it was beeping a lot. "GNOME WHAT IS GOIN ON MY BROTHER?" And gnome replied with "THE PRESIDENT IS IN TROUBLE AND WE MUST SAVE HIM FROM HIM!" I knew exactly who he was talking about. I knew it as soon as I saw the huge blimp rising from the white house, it was my arch rival, BLIMPUS. I knew that I wasn't going to let him get away this time. We then drove all the way to the whitehouse in the fairymobile, hey, it's the only car Gnome has. I went into the door and requested a meeting with the presidente and I saw he was being held captive by not only Blimpus, but the slender slayer as well, and his army of the KON-3 and the invisible children. I tried to grab my paintbrush from my back pocket but it was too later! Blimpus threw a shurketion at the brush and sliced it in half. I was hopeless, and Blimpus had me cornered with the Slenderslayer who was secretly working for President Slender who replaced the real president. Just then, Gnome in a motorcycle swopped in and crushed all of the small invisible children and took a punch in the face by the slenderslayer. Gnome fell unconscious to the ground and I lost hope again. I was then shot in the arm by president slender and his gang of korean children who had nothing better to do. Just then. I heard a swooping sound above the oval office and then 
KABOOOOOOOOOM!
To my surprise, it was one of my favorite allies of all time, CAPTAIN NIPS A LOT!
With his Mammary glands of justice, he pumped out enough milk to feed an entire village of Switzerland.
With such perkiful grace, he swooped in a tackled the president Slender and caused him to push the self destruct button, meaning the white house was going to explode in 10 minutes. I charged in after Blimpus but all of a sudden, a blimp full of animals from Noah's ark threw down a rope and he tried attempted to grab ahold of the rope and he succeeded in doing so. I clenched my fists and dove in after Blimpus and we were both on the rope flying away, I knew that Gnome and The Nippled Avenger would be able to settle things inside the white house with that phony President and would eventually be smoking blunts with Obama. 
Blimpus, crafty as he was, decided to cut the rope that I was on and I was falling to my death, but then, I was caught by the magestic mammary magician, Captain Nips a lot with his Tits of Justice. He put me to the ground and I shouted Hurray! And the crowd cheered as well, but with another clenched fist, I swore revenge for what Blimpus has caused and I was stopped by President Obama. He told me that I could use my EBT on anything, included buying property and I could get unlimited dolla fries whenever i wanted to. All I had to do was put in my pin when she asked me for it. 1778. I punched it in. And the secrets of the universe were unlocked to me inside of my head and I was satisfied. I thanked the Nippled Avenger and he shook my hand and told me that with great mammarys comes great responsibility. Then me and Gnome drove all of our motorcycles into the sunset. Thinking of ways to exterminate Blimpus, once and for all.

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